What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What do you mean son?

Can you explain the difference between fissionable and fissile materials and their role in nuclear power reactors?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What is the most heartbreaking thing your child has told you?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Have you had any paranormal activity situations happen personally to you or someone you know?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.